What keeps me going

I've thought a couple of times about doing this post, but the timing never felt right. A friend on facebook asked for some encouraging words this morning, so I shared it with her and I figure now is as good a time as any.

I feel like I handled the twins being in the NICU for a month quite well. I wasn't very emotional, and sometimes wondered if there was something wrong with me or even if I was in denial. I had tried to prepare myself since I knew it was a good possibility they'd be there, even though I secretly hoped I'd be bringing home full term 6 lb babies with me. The morning I got the call that Nickolas was also sick and they were going to be doing all sorts of tests and things I lost it. I was crying up a storm. My poor babies were sick and all I wanted to do was cuddle them and I knew even if I could get to them the nurses would tell me we needed to leave them alone as much as possible. Too much handling would be too much stress on them. I remembered some words of a blessing Josh had given me one night when we were uncomfortable with the amount of contractions I was having. I was told to take this opportunity to draw close to my Father in Heaven. So I did. I got down on my knees and prayed. And immediately these words popped in my head:

"Fear not. I am with thee, Oh be not dismayed.
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand.
Upheld by my righteous Omnipotent hand."

(I may have gotten some of the grammar wrong, I can't get to my hymnbook right now. but you get the idea.)

And so, on the rough days (like now - I have a cold and just want to curl up on the couch, yet 3 little people are still depending on me), that's what keeps me going.